THE WORTHY NOVENA

by Nicole M. Caruso and Glory Darbellay

Together with my dear friend Glory Darbellay, a Consecrated Woman of Regnum Christi, which is a Society of Apostolic Life of Pontifical Right, we wrote The Worthy Novena to draw out the message of #worthyofwearing, deepening it in prayer. Our worth comes from Christ, and we must invite Him into an ongoing conversation, allowing Him to speak that truth to us with His own words through the rhythm of daily meditation.

We began the novena (meaning 9 days) for the very first time on the eve of Christ’s birth 2020, as we pondered what it could have been like to cuddle his infant body and look deeply into his eyes the way Mother Mary did, with the final day falling on the solemnity feast of Mary, Mother of God. The 9 days of prayer are short reflections on self-worth to deep dive into what could be holding us back from true confidence in Christ, and seek healing in that.

Mary was the closest to Jesus than any other human who walked this earth. She raised Him as her son, and He in turn gave her to us as our mother before His death on the cross. Through her example, protection, and guidance we can grow closer to Jesus, and see His loving gaze. When we know who we are in Christ, we shine His light, much like the Star of Bethlehem did on Christmas. Let us all look to Mary the Mother of God as our example of true beauty that comes from a fiat—saying yes to Christ, while knowing His plan will take us right to His arms in Heaven.

Day 1

Dearest Lord Jesus, I know you desire that I see myself the way you see me, the way you marvel at the goodness of my soul, and the beauty of my heart. Please give me the grace to look past my flaws, reject thoughts of comparison, and rebuke the negative voices that breed self-loathing. With your loving gaze Lord, fill me with your peace. Teach me how to accept who I am, knowing that you already do. Allow me to find strength in the body you gave me, seeing every scar and imperfection as a triumph of growing closer to you through my struggles. Whisper in my ear that my worth does not come from my clothing size, material goods, or what others think of me. Remind me how you knit me in my mother’s womb, know the number of hairs on my head, and created me in your image. Hold me in your gaze and draw me close to you. Jesus, I trust in you. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me. 

Quote of the day: “And this is the marvel of marvels, that he called me Beloved.”— C.S. Lewis

Day 2

Dearest Lord Jesus, on this day of your birth, I marvel at the nativity with delight in your simplicity, admiration for St. Joseph’s leadership, and the docility of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I long to be close to you, but feel pulled away by many worries. Lord, you know my heart. You know how much I desire to be whole so that I can serve the people you entrust to my care, but I feel that it is never enough, and perhaps that I am not enough. My heart longs for harmony between the spiritual care of my soul and my physical needs. Please take my fear, shame, and worry to the foot of your cross, and show me the importance of caring for myself. When I hear the snide voice of the enemy accusing me with remarks like, “Who does she think she is?” remind me of my worth. Cover me with the warmth of your breath of life, and help me see how you desire my wholeness from the inside out. Unlock the chamber in my heart that is blocking your love for me, so that I can be an echo of your love for others. Jesus, I trust in you. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me.

Quote of the day: “And God is always there. If you feel wounded, he kneels over this earth like a divine medic, and his love thaws the holy in us”. —St. Teresa of Avila

Day 3

Dearest Lord Jesus, I struggle, falling into discouragement when I look at my never ending to-do list. As a woman, you have called me to nurture those I serve in my mission with my genuine care and authenticity. Please help me not to lose my identity in my daily responsibilities. I know in my heart that you want more for me than fulfilling my duties— you want  me to be fulfilled, passionate, cheerful, and kind. Help me to break away from the feelings of shame that make me believe I have to be a slave to my to-do list in order to love well. Please block the resistance I feel in caring for myself , because it leads me to discouragement and bitterness. I know it turns me in on myself, and I begin to look for compensations instead of true re-creation that is part of your loving plan for me. Lord, help me prioritize a simple routine of maintenance for my body and soul so that I can pour from a full cup; an overflowing cup of peace and charity. I commit to giving you the first moments of my day, and ask you to take care of the rest. Do not allow me to loosen boundaries on the time I plan to spend with you, or the time I plan to spend getting ready for a new day with you at my side.  Jesus, I trust in you. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me. 

Quote of the day:“Relying on God has to begin all over every day as if nothing had yet been done.” —C.S. Lewis

Day 4

Dearest Lord Jesus, my heart has been hurt many times through criticism and judgement from others. Right now, I place those who have hurt me before you. I forgive them, release them to you, and ask you to help them on their own journey. I turn to you now for what I need. You know how I long for acceptance, and to be seen and loved, though I sometimes look for that comfort in the wrong way or in the wrong places. I pray to detach myself from the need for compliments, or the pain of judgement, and rely on your love to be the solid ground where I find my footing. Even though I struggle to believe in my self-worth, you show it to me through your actions. We were in need of salvation and you came, as a baby, to call out my own tender love for you. And you want my heart, my love, because it is unique and unrepeatable, and no one else can give this to you but me. I am chosen, desired, and cherished by you. In the light of that truth, help me to be free from bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. Let me not speak ill, gossip, or judge others. You are just, wise, and good, and I know you will take care of everything. Hold my tongue before I harm someone with unkind words, and let unkind words that are said about me not separate me from you.  Jesus, I trust in you. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me. 

Quote of the day:“If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know who you are.” —Mother Teresa

Day 5

Dearest Lord Jesus, I often feel proud of who I am when I accomplish something that others think is good. When I am flooded with praise, I feel valuable. Help me to see my value goes beyond what I can produce. I’ve heard that you love me as I am, but in prayer, find myself listing my merits, and bringing you my wish list instead of being able to sit with you and just receive your love. My heart can be restless, and what I really seek is to know your tender love is real for me. My heart feels safest when I can create the appearance that I have it all together, but you and I both know that I don’t. The longing that I have for validation can make me try to be all things to all people in order to be remembered, invited, and cared for. Please show me Lord, how special I am to you, especially when I sin, and especially when I feel alone. Mary, Mother of God, surround me with your motherly embrace, so that I may feel your protection and be grounded in my identity that comes from Christ alone.  Jesus, I trust in you. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me. 

Quote of the day:“And thou shalt be a crown of glory in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of thy God.” —Isaiah 62:3

Day 6

Dearest Lord Jesus, you ask me to care for your creation, and often I forget that this includes me. I desire to be faithful in the little things, so that I may do great things in your Most Holy name. The little things I need for my body include rest, exercise, sunlight, nutrition, and special attention to grooming my hair, skin, and nails, and finding suitable clothing-- a Worthy Wardrobe. The little things I need for my soul include prayer, silence, reflection, adoration, meditation, and the sacraments like Holy Mass and Reconciliation. I know you have called me to be your light in this world. I want my life to be a living example of your redemption and real love, so my appearance will draw others to you. Let me care for my body as an act of gratitude to you for giving me life, and “pray without ceasing,” as St. Paul taught us, so I may give you glory in everything I do. Let me care for my soul knowing that it is a place where you desire to dwell and to radiate your goodness, beauty and truth to others. Give me the graces of intentionality and wisdom to see myself as one person, who is body-and-soul.  Jesus, I trust in you. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me. 

Quote of the day:“I am an instrument to waken and nurture the Divine spark.” —St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein)

Day 7

Dearest Lord Jesus, help me to see myself the way you see me, because all I see are things I wish I could perfect. When I feel self-doubt, I pour myself into work or find superficial ways to cope with the emptiness. Lord, you made me to be be free, and these things shackle me. Though I may not know what lies ahead, I do know that I wish to fulfill my dreams and use my life as a testimony of your existence and true love. Please reveal to me the plan you have in mind, so I can make small steps along your path. Detach me from my crutches so I may seek deeper healing in freedom. Give me the grace to acknowledge the gifts and talents you have given me, and may I bravely begin to share them with the people you’ve put in my life. I know how good I feel when I am wearing something that makes me feel beautiful and confident. This feeling of worth comes from knowing I am yours and you desire me. Show me the difference between a self-centered vanity of wanting to be preferred or noticed, and my inherent dignity that is expressed outwardly by how I present myself. Though I don’t know how to let you in completely, I invite you to sit with me and help me to be receptive to your love. I open myself to your gaze, your word, your touch. I bring myself to you as the shepherds did, with my poverty, and my wounds. Let me sit in adoration of you for a while and allow you to work freely in my heart as you see is best. Please Lord, speak your word, say my name, remind me of what you see in me that makes you love me so much.  Jesus, I trust in you. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me. 

Quote of the day:“We cannot live in a world that is interpreted for us by others. An interpreted world is not a hope. Part of the terror is to take back our own listening. To use our own voice. To see our own light.” —St Hildegaard of Bingen

Day 8

Dearest Lord Jesus, I often struggle to see each new day as a gift, and often take it for granted. The ordinary life I live is not what movies are made of. Does it really matter if I make an effort to feel my best each day? Do the people I serve in my mission really care if I am dressed up or down? Does my choice of clothing and how I care for my body and soul really make a difference in what I do? Show me how I can be the best version of myself, and help me discern where I am called. Show me that I am worthy of wearing things that make me feel like a beloved daughter of a King-- a royal of your court. Teach me that I am worthy of celebrating what is good, true, and beautiful in every moment. Help me not to take my life or my salvation for granted. I want to spend all of eternity in your Heavenly Kingdom, and I pray that I may see you face to face, to know the fullness of your love. Let me be alert to the glimpses of your love that you share with me throughout the day, and let me not fall into distraction through entertainment, laziness, or curiosity. I offer my ordinary life to you Lord, and I pray that even the smallest tasks you will see as signs of my affection. Jesus, I trust in you. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me. 

Quote of the day:“How familiar are you with the Voice of God? You most likely will not hear him speak to you in an audible way. His voice often comes as a strong sense that we ought to do this and avoid that. He speaks by influencing our will even more than our mind. A common experience of God’s communication is this inner conviction.” —St. Faustina

Day 9 

Dearest Lord Jesus, on this feast of Mary the Mother of God, your mother, let me find the freedom to be who you made me to be, not who others say I should be. Let me not think that I am the exception, that you couldn’t possibly love someone like me. Help me to see the lies I have listened to, and uproot them from how I live my life. The desires and dreams you have placed upon my heart are bursting from within. May I have your grace to do them as you will. Let the way I live my life inspire another woman to see her worth in you. I am a worthy woman of God, and I strive to love you in everything I do. I am a daughter under your Kingship; a sovereign under your care, and my presence is steadfast and elegant to those I meet. I am worthy, valued, and unique in your eyes. I am stronger than I think, and your grace always carries me in what I lack. I am entirely yours, and dedicate myself to serve you through every trial and joy that I face.  Jesus, I trust in you. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me. 

Quote of the day:“Strength and beauty are her clothing, and she shall laugh in the latter day.” — Proverbs 31:25

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